There is always something that others find annoying in each one of us. Maybe it is that we want the freedom to concentrate on a task of our own choosing, which leaves others feeling that we are too distant and not connected enough. Or perhaps, it is that we always need people around us for conversation and for bouncing ideas off of, which can annoy others who may think, “Can’t [he or she] just be out of my hair for a while?!”
It could be that we seem too nonconventional, or too commonplace, or too quick to decide, or not decisiveness enough, or, or, or… Give it time and frequency and we can start to think we have major faults. Our self-concept takes a hit, and we find ourselves vowing to others that we will try harder to be better.
Yet these alleged deficiencies may be indicators of personal strengths and workplace potential. A big problem with determining one’s own worth through the critical eyes of others is that it can cause us to veer away from an unfettered self-examination. It is hard to confidently express your own value when you feel overwhelmed or at least tainted by what you are told are weaknesses that keep recurring repeatedly.
It may be time to reframe the deficits as benefits. Do you find yourself in a job that calls for multi-tasking when you just want time to develop a concept in a distraction free environment? Are you tired of working in isolation when you strongly wish you could be part of a cross-disciplinary team? In general, are you being required to function in a manner that is not congruent with your true, innate interests, aptitudes, and passions?
Fortunately, the human collective is not split into two pre-ordained groups, those with natural talent and good luck to always succeed and those who are losers and who are never going to amount to anything. Everyone has the potential to prevail and contribute, if only the right set of circumstances align allowing everyone to perform at their best. There is a lid for every pot.
It becomes necessary for each of us to know what we can do well and to seek those opportunities and situations by which we work in energizing ways rather than just managing our weaknesses. Take the time to consider the behaviors you have that seem to put others off. Ask yourself, is the behavior really your problem to fix or is it that you are somehow misplaced?
In many cases, problems at work are the result of being constrained by doing things that we would rather not do. Perhaps, we are being directed to perform tasks we somewhat enjoy, but in ways divergent from our preferred way of doing them. It is likely that we will each execute at our best when our work is an expression of our interest and skill combined with the freedom to choose the course of progress.
I like to give clients an exercise of drafting their ideal job description. It is not an easy thing to do for many. But I recommend trying it, so that you can design a template of what to strive for. Give yourself time to imagine that perfect employment scenario. When doing so, think of what your chronic “weaknesses” are telling you. These “deficits” could be gateways to workplace conditions that are unfulfilled.
Of course, we cannot always get what we want, but we can sure try. The method of achieving a productive workforce should involve optimal placement of each employee. However, it is up to everyone to get to the place where both you and your employer each receive maximum value for the work you do. The best way to manage a weakness is to turn it into a strength.
